i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
