She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
