why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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