I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
