About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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