if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
