I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
