she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
