Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
