every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The convent might be a nice break from real life
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
