More tranny stories later!
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
