Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
