Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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