Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
