Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
