please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
