I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
