Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
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