I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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