Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
