Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
