Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
