Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
