You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
