So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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