I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
