so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
