Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
