last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He shit in the fireplace
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