i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
