you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
