so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
