So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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