In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
