rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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