So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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