I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
