i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
