Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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