I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
