oh god the rape fog is back!
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
