I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
