Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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