Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
