The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
