So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
