i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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