Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
