i cant cry in cvs. not again.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
