guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
