He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
