I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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